My Biggest Mistake
by bellatrix-la-dumb
Summary: Okay, this isn't my biggest mistake, but it sure isn't a masterpiece either. I thought it would be just an amazing idea to publish one of my forgotton fics from like four years ago, just for a good old laugh. It's a pretty basic 'Tris gets pregnant after initiation' deal, but with all the cringe of my terrible writing to go along with it. So just sit back and enjoy the ride.
1. Chapter 1

**So, some of you many remember some of my very early, very terrible Divergent fanfiction. Or maybe you're like me and have spent years trying to purge anything Divergent related from your memory and move on with your life. Well, recently I made the idiotic decision to reread my old fics, and in doing that I was reminded of one (of several) that I had long forgotton and left in the depths of my Google Docs to collect virtual dust and go unpublished for all of eternity. But then I thought, since I hate myself so much, why don't I relive it in all its glory and publish it in the year of our Lord 2019? Why? Who knows. What makes it even better is that my birthday is today, so this is like the ultimate anti-present to myself. But I'm all about laughing at myself and looking back at how far I've come, so why don't I just do a little of both in celebraton of writing sub-par fanfiction for the past six years of my life?**

**So, here's the deal. None of this is edited. This is exactly how it was written when it burst forth from my undeveloped brain like four years ago. Also, it isn't finished, so it's probably just going to end abruptly and have no resolution. But that's how all my other Divergent fics are anyways, so it's not like it's that big of a change. This is just pure, unadulterated cringe for your personal enjoyment at my expense. ****I'm reading through each of these chapters as I publish them and providing commentary at the end of each, so this is gonna be some MST3K kind of shit but lame and in writing form. So saddle up, because this one is a real doosey.**

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**CHAPTER 1**

Everything had been amazing in Dauntless. I had been here for seven months, and I have enjoyed every moment of it.

Until I found out I was pregnant.

I had no idea how it happened. Tobias and I had never even done _it_ before.

I just turned seventeen, how am I supposed to take care of a child?

I stumble out of the bathroom and fall to my knees on the floor of Tobias's and my apartment, my world crashing down around me. I start to sob violently, trying to hold in my screams. Clutching my stomach, I try to wrap my mind around what is happenening. I have no idea how to tell Tobias. Is it even his kid? Do I want it? Is this all just a dream? How did this happen?

"Tris, what's wrong?" I hadn't even noticed Tobias coming in. How long have I been crying here? My breath catches in my throat as he runs over, crouching down beside me.

"Uh. . . um. . . I have something to tell you." I say through my tears. A nervous look replaces the one of worry he had before. He sits in front of me and puts his hands on my shoulders. I decide to just come out and tell him, it will be the easiest way.

"I-I'm pregnant," I say, barley understandable through my sobs. He just stares at me, his mouth open slightly. More tears flow out of my eyes. I knew he wouldn't like it. I start to pull away from him, but his grip on my shoulders tightens.

"Wait, Tris. Don't get angry. I'm just confused. We haven't even done. . . that."

I look back at him. His eye brows are furrowed, but his deep blue eyes seem sad.

"I don't know how this happened. All I know is that there is a baby growing inside of me," I tell him, taking a shakey breath. He is just silent.

I ask the question that I have asking myself all day. "How do you feel about this?"

"I don't know. I didn't expect this to happen so soon. We are only teenagers. How are we supposed to take care of a child?" I have never heard him so scared. It breaks my heart to hear him say he isn't exactly happy about this. Though, I am not very estatic either. How could I be?

"Do you want it?" I ask, afraid of his answer.

He seems to hesitate for a moment. "Of course I do. This is our child."

"But what are we going to do?" I say as I lean against his chest.

"I have no idea." He says against my hair, wrapping his arms around me. Tears continue to run down my cheeks, dripping on his shirt. I never thought we would have children, at least not this early on. I basically just threw away my Dauntless life of partying and drinking. I was supposed to spend my years here being free and having fun, not taking care of a child.

"Hey, why don't we just go to sleep, and worry about this tomorrow." He asks quietly. I nod and stand up, heading to bed.

I wake up to anxiousness and morning sickness. I run to the bathroom, retching until I can't anymore. Tobias still hasn't woken up, and is snoring loudly from under the comforters. I look at the clock and see that is 5:35. Still early. But I can't go back to sleep now. I just sit on the egde of the bed, my hands clutching the sheets tightly. The thought of being a mother is so real now, the responsibility that will be put on me like a weight on my shoulders. But do I really want this? I don't have to go through with this. But the thought of getting rid of my own child is unthinkable. Tobias seems fine with being a father, though. I will be strong for him. I won't give up if he doesn't want me to.

Also, I have heard that giving birth is one of the most painful things you can ever experience. I haven't ever been that good with pain, and thought of having to push a baby out of me makes my stomach wrench. And many women have died from giving birth. I don't want to leave Tobias alone with a child. Or I could have a miscarrage, and I don't think I could go through that. I start to feel nausious again from all the anxiety of what will come.

"Can't sleep?" Tobias's whisper startles me, causing me to practically jump off of the bed. I turn around to face him. Depsite his cocky comment, he isn't smiling.

"No, morning sickness." I reply.

"Oh. . ." he says, uncertain. He sighs, placing a hand on my stomach.

"I'm so scared, Tobias." I say placing my hand on top of his.

"It's going to be okay. We will get through this," he tells me, placing a kiss on my forehead. He knows just now to make me feel better, even in the worst of times. We will get through this, even if we are just teenagers.

"How will we tell our friends? More importantly, how will we tell our families?" I ask, my voice rising slightly.

"Well, we should go ahead and tell our friends. That should be easy. But with our families. . ." He pauses. I know I have hit a sore spot. He doesn't like to even speak about his father. "Maybe we could just not tell them. I mean, we never talk to them anymore."

"I don't think my parents would like me hiding their grandchild from them." I retort, trying to sound calm, even though this is making me frusterated. Tobias doesn't reply, so we just lay in silence for a while.

"Why don't we get ready." I suggest. Even though it is a little early, we do need to get ready for our jobs. Tobias still works in the control room. I decided to work in the tattoo parlor with Tori.

"Don't you remember? Today is our day off," Tobias reminds me.

"Oh, yeah. Well, I geuss we can tell our friends the news then." I reply in a monotone voice.

"Maybe later, but right now, I just want to spend some time with you," he says, moving his hand to my back and pulling me closer.

"I was thinking that I could go back to sleep," I say, yawning. The lack of sleep was finally getting to me.

"Oh, fine." He yawns too. I curl up next to him as he wraps his arms tightly around me. It doesn't take long for the darkness to engulf me.

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**Okay, I'm sure you can immediately see why I decided to publish this. Apparently Tris this Virgirn Mary reborn or something. I have no idea why the hell I decided to add that in, because from what I can remember it's never addressed later in the story. I guess my little gay child brain just couldn't parse the idea of them having . . ._the sex _in any way. The funniest part is how they just accept that she's miraculously pregnant after being good Christian children for their entire relationship and waiting until marriage. Like, Four doesn't queston if she cheated, Tris doesn't wonder if she was assaulted or drugged or something. I would be freaking the fuck out! That shit doesn't just happen.**

**And don't even get me started on the writing itself. It's not awful, I mean, I've got the structure and punctuation down. But there's barely anything other than completely robotic and on the nose dialogue. If I hadn't written this I would have assumed these characters weren't human. Nobody fucking talks like that. And after reading my other Divergent fics, this one sure isn't a breath of fresh air. It seems like all I knew to do when writing Tris and Four together was to have her cry and then have him comfort her constantly. Was Tris this much of a whiny bitch in the books or was this just my own interpretation? I honestly don't remember. **

**Please tell me if the few of you who are left want me to continue with this. Because I have ten more chapters of this. It's almost 20,000 words long. And I have a couple other little unpublished fics if you really want more. I just absolutely love reliving the great embarrassments of my past. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys. I was gonna update this a couple days ago, but I had work and I also really just didn't want to read more of this. Hope you all enjoy it though. Feel free to laugh and point at me in the reviews. **

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**_CHAPTER 2_**

When I wake, it is already noon. I groan, dragging myself out of bed. Sunlight shines through the one window at the other end of the small apartment. Clothes and trash are strewn across most of the floor. Tobias and I arn't the cleanest people, and we never have the time to pick anything up.

I look back at Tobias, who is spread out across the bed, snoring loudly. I shake his shoulder, trying to wake him up. He just mumbles something about sleeping longer and rolls onto his side.

"Tobias, you need to get up now," I say, shaking him again. He groans and sits up, looking at me.

"You know, I was thinking that we should go to the infirmary to get you checked on, just to make sure everything is going okay." He says, looking at my stomach. I sigh and nod, agreeing with him. We both take showers and get dressed, walking out of the door to the infirmary.

While we are there, they do an ultrasound and a few tests; confirming that I am pregnant, and that Tobias is the father. I still am confused on how this happened. After we leave, we eat in our apartment, not wanting to face everybody yet.

"Well, do you think that we should tell our friends now?" I ask as we finish eating.

"I do think we should, but I really don't want to," he replies, and I nod. I really do not want to face them right now. What would they even think?

"We need to. I think we should start with Christina." He nods and we head off toward her apartment. One we get there, I knock on the door. She instantly answers it, smiling when she sees us. She lets us in to her clean, but over crowded apartment.

"So, what brought you here?" She asks cheerfully. We all sit down in the living area, which is full of plush couches and chairs with matching fluffy pillows covering them.

"We have to tell you something." I tell her, looking down at the floor. Her smile falters for a moment, a look of concern replacing it.

"Um. . . I'm pregnant." I look back at her face, a mix of many different expressions.

"I told you that you shouldn't have moved in with him," she says, laughing uncertainly, lightly punching Tobias's arm.

"That's not what happened, Christina. We don't even know what happened. We haven't even done that before." I reply, sounding despirate for answers.

"Oh, wait. I think I know what happened." She says, glancing between Tobias and I. "At your birthday party, you both got really drunk, and you were making out; then you locked yourselves in a closet, and yeah. . ." She looks at us, somewhat disturbed.

I turn towards Tobias, to find that he is already looking at me. "I don't remember anything from my party."

"I don't either." He replies. We look back at Christina, anger flaring up inside of me.

"Congradulations?" She says it like it is a question. She looks scared as I stand and stalk up to her.

"You threw me that party. You got us drunk, and now we are going to be teenage parents. This is all your falt!" I start screaming at her, my emotions getting out of control. Tobias grabs me and pulls me onto his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I stop stuggling and try to calm down. I don't know why I lashed out at Christina, I just couldn't stop myself.

"I am just going to say that was pregnancy hormones, because normal Tris would never act like that," she says. Tobias releases me once he realizes that I have calmed down. I put my head in my hands and push my long hair out of my face.

"But seriously, congradulations. You are going to be awesome parents," Christina says, smiling again. Although she was trying to reassure me, I wasn't so sure that what she said was true. How are two teenagers supposed to raise a child in the most dangerous faction? Even thought the Dauntless are a little too care free, seventeen is still very young to be a parent.

"I'm sorry Christina, I didn't mean to lash out at you. I think we should leave now. We have other things to do." I say as I stand up again, pulling Tobias up with me.

"It's okay Tris. I'm so happy for you! If you ever need any help, just call me," she says as she hugs me tightly. We say our good-byes and leave, walking out into the pit.

We go around and tell our other friends the news. Some are shocked, some are happy. After walking around all day, I am exhausted. Tobias almost has to carry me into our apartment because I can barely stand. I immediately flop down on the bed and fall asleep as my head hits the pillow.

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**Okay, so it turns out that I have like no recollection of this fic because I said I never addressed the Virgin Mary thing, but that's probably because my explanation of it was really dumb and forgettable. What's the point of making it a mystery if it turns out they just got drunk and "did it" in a fucking closet? Why did I feel the need to point out several times that they had never "done it" when I'm pretty certain they "did it" in the books at several points? Why did I put so much focus on the descriptions of the characters' apartments but absolutely nothing else? I have no answers. **

**And PrEgNaNcY HoRmOnEs. I'm sure it's obvious that fourteen-year-old me knew nothing about pregnancy, or anything really. Ooh, morning sickness, ooh, hormones, ooh baby bump. It was basically all the tropes I saw in other fics. God forbid I actually research something.**

**Also, take this whole thing as a kind of what not to do lesson in writing. Don't only focus on dialogue and regulate and depictions of actions to one brief sentence. Don't begin each chapter with the character waking up and end it with them going to sleep. Don't make each chapter about a conflict you resolve within one paragraph and then fill the rest of the chapter with everyday life stuff that doesn't contribute to the story at all. Don't bang out a chapter in like an hour and post it without editing. Don't be completely repetitive with your sentence structure and action and dialogue. Don't have your characters talk like fucking robots. Don't have your characters act completely randomly and blame it on pregnancy hormones, especially if they are not pregnant. I could go on, but you're probably bored of me by now. **

**Review if you've gotten pregnant from having drunk sex with your virgin boyfriend on your birthday without even realizing it. **


	3. Chapter 3

I am about three months along now, and I am starting to show. It is embarassing to walk around Dauntless being obviously pregnant, and the tight Dauntless clothing does nothing to help me hide it. I still am not sure if I am happy about this baby or not. Most days, I try to push the thought of my future out of my head, but whenever they sneak back in, my stomach wrenches and I get nausious and anxious. Tobias doesn't show much emotion about this whole situation. Sometimes he seems estatic, but at other times he seems regretful and distant. But he is still overprotective of me. He barely lets me do anything, in fear that something might go wrong.

The new initiates will be coming in two months, and Tobias will be training the transfers. I was hoping to help him, but there is no way that I would do that now.

Tobias has talked about getting married, but I disagreed, not wanting to be forced into doing that just because we are having a child. It also is because that is just another thing that makes me feel like I am growing up too fast. Marrage isn't a big thing in Dauntless. If you really want to be legally married, you can just sign a paper. But I don't care about getting married, it is just a lable.

I am sitting in the tattoo parlor, giving a skull tattoo to a random Dauntless. Once I am done, they pay and leave without a word. I walk to the backroom where Tori is washing up and sit down at the small table and play with my fingers, not knowing what to do. Tori turns around and looks at me.

"How are you holding up?" she asks in a gentle voice that sounds so unlike her.

"Oh, I'm fine." I reply, not really looking at her. She sits down across from me and takes my hands in her's.

"Now, I know that isn't the truth." She looks me right in the eye, as if she was serching my mind for the answers. I just sigh and look down at our conjoined hands.

"It has been really hard. I am so scared. How are we supposed to do this? We are so young." I tell her truthfully.

"Oh, Tris. Everything is going to be fine. There is no need to worry. You will be a great mother." I pull a hand away and place it on my small baby bump, her words doing nothing to comfort me. That is exactly what everyone else has been telling me.

"Tris, trust me, I know what I am talking about. I had a child when I was young too." What? What is she talking about? She must see my confused expression because she smiles, but it seems a little too sad to be genuine.

"When I was eighteen," she continues, "my boyfriend and I unexpectedly had a child. We loved him and tried to be the best parents possible. I had the same worries as you, but everything turned out fine." What? She never talked about having a family. Why have I never met them? I look into her eyes and see tears threatening to spill out.

"What happened to them? I have never heard about your family," I ask, curious.

She just sits without repsonding. She looks like she is trying to find the right words. I wait, not wanting to make things worse.

"A few years ago, my son and my boyfriend were on the train coming back home. When they jumped off, they didn't make it." She closes her eyes as the tears start to spill out. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even brought it up."

I squeeze her hands and whisper comforting things, trying to calm her down. I have never seen her cry before. She has never told me about her past before. It is strange seeing someone so strong at their weakest state.

"I'm so sorry, Tori." That is all I can say. I don't have much empathy for her, because I have never expirienced a great loss. I hope nothing like that happens to my child. I could never live through such a tragedy. I have no idea how she did. How could you live without a family?

After she stops crying, we talk for a while. We make sure not to bring up anything about children. I am sick of talking about it. Once I realize the time, I say good bye to Tori and walk out of the door and back to the apartment. When I get there, I sit in silence for a while, waiting for Tobias.

I end up pacing across the room, bored out of my mind. After a few minutes of this, I stop in the middle of the apartment, just standing. My mind wanders to the thought of my baby, wondering if it will be a boy or a girl, who it will look like, what we will name it. These happy thoughts bring a smile to my face. This is one of the rare moments that I am actually exited to be having a kid. I lift up my shirt and look at my slightly enlarged stomach, my smile growing.

"I love you, baby. I can't wait to finally get to see you." I whisper, gently rubbing my baby bump. I feel something flutter in my stomach, causing me to start to panic. What was that? Is something wrong with the baby? I sit down on the couch, clutching the cusions stiffly. A few minutes later, I feel the fluttering again.

The door opens and Tobias walks in, setting his things down on the counter. He strides over and sits next to me, a hard, almost sad look on his face.

"What's wrong?" he asks, noticing my distress.

I clutch my stomach. "I don't know. I-I think I feel it _moving_."

"What?"

"The baby. I can feel it moving," I say, my voice mixed with discust and dread. The thought of something moving inside me sickens me. I didn't know that actually happened.

"Really?" Tobias sounds surprised and unsure. He isn't used to this either.

"Do you think that something is wrong?"

"No, I think that this is normal. Maybe."

I sigh, holding my belly. Tobias slides his hands under mine, pressing his palm to my abdomen. "Let me see if I can feel." We wait a few minutes, and finally, I feel the fluttering again. Tobias must feel it too because I look back to see him smiling at me. He pulls me against him, his fingers running across my stomach. I giggle slightly, his light touches tickling me. He leans down and kisses my cheek.

"I love you." He leans down and kisses my stomach. "And I love this baby too."

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**Hi my name is Beatris Dauntless Tris Number Six Prior and I have long ugly blonde hair and a long pointy witch nose and boring blue eyes that don't stand out at all. I'm a member of Dauntless in post-apocalyptic Chicago where I just transfered a year ago from my home faction Abnegation (I just turned seventeen). I'm a goth (just like everyone else here) and I wear mostly black. For example today I was wearing a big black sweater to hide my embarassing baby bump and black leather pants and big chunky combat boots because I'm legally obligated to look like a Mad Max villian who got stuck working 9-5 at Hot Topic at all times. I was walking through Dauntless. It was dark and dingy and smelly and there was no sun because Dauntless was a giant windowless concrete building for some reason, which I was as usual gloomy about. A lot of faction members stared at my pregnant stomach. I put my middle finger up at them. **

**I wish this was a parody. It's so absolutely filled to the brim with tropes and cliches it's embarassing. I thought I was being self-aware and avoiding all the overused shit but I just played right into it. Like how Tori is this god-like_ deux ex machina _that has the knowledge of experience to solve every problem because I was too lazy to find a different solution. And Tobias kissing her and then her stomach? Major eye roll moment. I mean come on, if that isn't the most overplayed trope in all of fiction! I was so ignorant. **

**But I think this story's major pitfall is that it's straight-up boring. I mean, trust me, it gets hella dramatic later on, but this buildup is just a snooze fest. Blah blah blah I'm pregnant blah blah blah I'm all angsty blah blah blah. We get it. We've all seen Teen Mom. Get over it already.**

**Comment if you like kissing pregnant women's stomachs and looking like a Mad Max villian who works at Hot Topic.**


	4. Chapter 4

I sit in the apartment alone, counting off the hours until Tobias gets home. There have been many days like this. I stopped working because it became too hard with my growing stomach. I am five months along now, and my swollen belly shows for it. Tobias has been training the initiates, and is greeting their families because today is visiting day. Usually I would go and watch the initiates train, or have Christina over when she wasn't at work. Sometimes Tobias comes home and eats lunch with me. But this morning I didn't feel like even moving, and decided not to go with Tobias. I now regret that decision, wishing I had something to do.

After a while, I decide to clean up the apartment, considering I can barely see the floor underneath all the junk. The cleaning occupies me for a few hours, until I hear a knock to the door. For a moment I think that it is Tobias, but quickly dismiss the thought, knowing that he would just walk in. When I open my door, I see the person I least expected.

My mother.

She was dressed in her usual large Abnegation grey clothing, her hair pulled back into a tight bun. She was smiling, but then looked down at my huge baby bump, an unexplainable expression on her face.

"Hello, mother," I say, trying to sound cheerful.

"Beatrice, what happened to you?" Her Abnegation manner is gone, a more curious and disbelieving one replacing it.

"Why don't you come in so we can talk." I suggest, opening the door wider so she can come through. I am glad that I decided to clean up today. We sit in living area, an awkward silence filling the space.

I decide to speak up. "So, what brings you here?"

"Oh, well I just thought I would visit you, since today is the only day you can."

"Well, thank you for coming, I have been wanting to see you. Did Dad still not want to come?" I am a little sad that he didn't come again.

"Oh, he is just busy. You know how much does for our faction." She replies, glancing disapprovingly at my stomach. "So, I see you have been busy too."

"Mom, just listen. It wasn't like that," I plead. She just stares at me, waiting for me to talk. "It was an accident. We got drunk, and. . ." I decide not to continue. She just nods and looks at the ground.

"Who is the father?" She is asking too many questions to be an Abnegation. She is supposed to be quiet and listen.

"My boyfriend, Four."

"You mean your old instructor?" I am surprised that she even remembers him. I nod and look at my hands in my lap, feeling uncomfortable.

"How long have you been together?"

"A year." I respond, finally looking up at her. She has a sympathetic look.

"I am glad he didn't leave you. He seemed like a very nice young man." She pauses for a moment.

"How far along are you?"

"Around five months. The doctors said I am coming along nicely." At this, I hear the door being unlocked, and know it must be Tobias. I tell my mother that I will just be a moment, and run awkwardly across the room.

"Hey, how are you?" He asks, wrapping his arms around me, kissing me gently. Thankfully, the front door is hidden behind the kitchen cabinets, so my mother can not see us.

"We have a visitor," I whisper, pulling him into the living area, where my mother is still sitting. She smiles at Tobias and me as we sit together on the couch.

"Hello, Mrs. Prior, nice to see you." Tobias says, trying to make a good impression.

"So you are the man who got my daughter pregnant." She replies, crossing her arms. What is wrong with her today? I have never seen her like this.

"Mother!" I say, surprised at her response. Tobias just chuckles and slips his arm around my back, his hand resting on the side of my stomach.

"I guess I am. But I am very excited to be having a child with Beatrice." He says, using my real name for some reason. He smiles down at me and pulls me closer.

"I was just worried because you are both so young."

"We are, but we are prepared. And we have many friends to help us." I say.

"Well, that's good. Have you thought of any names?" She asks.

I look up at Tobais questioningly. He just shrugs and looks forward again. "Not really, since we don't know the gender yet. But I do like the name Rayden," he says.

"I was thinking Mason for a boy. Or Markaya for a girl." I state. He looks at me quizzically.

"Where did you get Markaya from?"

"I just thought of it. Do you like it?" I ask.

"Maybe, it sounds nice." He looks back at my mother, smiling.

"Well, I guess I should be going. I don't want to get home too late." She says as she stands up. Tobias and I stand up too, walking over to her.

"Could you maybe not tell Dad and Caleb? You know how they are." I ask, and she nods.

"I very happy for you two. I can't wait to see my grandchild." She tells us while hugging me, placing a hand on my stomach. She proceeds to awkwardly hug Tobias, causing him to blush from embarrassment. We walk to the door silently.

"It has been great seeing you." She steps out of the door. "Good-bye Beatrice. Good-bye Tobias." She says, smiling as she walks away. I stand in shock, confused about what just happened. I look at Tobias who is still watching my mother walking down the long hallway.

"How did she figure out who I am?"

"I don't know. She has been surprising me all day."

"Well, at least that went well," he says, finally closing the door. He turns towards me, wrapping his arms around my waist. Though, he can barely reach all the way around me because I am getting so big. He leans down and kisses me gently, my arms wrapping around his neck. We stay like this for a while, finally breaking apart for air.

We sit around for another hour or two, just eating and talking. Eventually, we get in bed, exhausted from the long day. I have found that I tire much faster than I did a while ago. Even doing the smallest tasks make me want to curl up in bed and sleep for hours. I guess it is just a part of being pregnant.

I lay on my back in the bed, staring at the ceiling. I hear Tobias's even breaths beside me, my mind drifting to thoughts of our future. I think of all the things we will have to do as parents, everything that we will go through as our child grows up. Eventually, I drift off into a deep sleep.

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**God, I think this is the worst chapter so far. You can tell that I wrote it in like an hour, and I probably was so proud of it too. Ooh, her mom shows up, what a twist! And she knew Tobias' name, I bet that will surprise them! Oh the drama of it all!**

**Don't even GET me STARTED on those terrible baby names. I think I found them on a baby name website and was like "Hmm, those sound pretty Dauntless." But_ Markaya? _Who in the history of the fucking world would name their kid Markaya? At least it isn't Theo or something.**

**And you'd think I'm Sera Gamble up in here, thinking I'm being so subversive while playing into every trope in the book. It's terrible. I rolled my eyes at the part where they just stand and kiss until they have to pull away for air. Ugh, that's exactly what every teen who has never been kissed thinks what kissing is like. And of course, it ends with her falling asleep, because I literally didn't know any other way to end a chapter. Maybe we should keep a count of all the amateur writing mistakes I make, like CinemaSins,_ Everything Wrong With My Terrible Divergent Fanfiction._**

**They live in the future but they don't have the technology to tell her the gender of her baby at five months. *_Ting!* _Her mother goes from acting like a total evil step mother and being super disapproving of Tris being pregnant to being a completely normal member of Abnegation and telling them how excited she is to be a grandmother within a couple lines, and there is no reason given for this. **_*Ting!*_** Her mother hasn't seen her daughter in a year and finds out that she is pregnant but doesn't feel the need to visit for more than five minutes. ****_*Ting!*_ ****There is constant needless drama but none of it actually makes the story interesting. ****_*Ting!*_**** There is a strange focus on how dirty their apartment is. _*Ting!* _I could go on, but I don't think this story deserves analysis that deeply.**

**Review if you kiss people by pressing your mouths together for several minutes at a time and then pulling away gasping for air because you've been holding your breath the entire time.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Oops! I completely forgot about this story. I started back to school a couple months ago and doing that on top of working two jobs is kind of distracting. But we all know what's really important here. If any of you in the future are wondering why it has been five months since this wonderful, five-star materpiece of a story has been updated, don't hesitate to blow up my inbox and tell me to get my ass in gear and update this son of bitch! I need the reminder sometimes.**

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I walk through the Pit with Christina, discussing what to buy for the baby. I am currently seven months pregnant, my stomach so large that I can barely walk. Tobias hasn't let me be alone, convinced that something horrible will happen if I'm not constantly monitered. We found out that baby is a girl a few weeks ago. Each day we grow more and more anxious; exited for our daughter, but scared about how we will do as parents.

Christina is rambling on about baby clothes and new furniture for our baby's room. Tobias and I finally decided to get a new apartment, figuring that we would quickly run out of space with a third person living in that tiny space.

Tobias is at work in the control room, like he usually is. He is trying to work extra so he can stay at home for a while to help me take care of the baby. But the down side of that is that I never get to see him, other than when we are sleeping, which barely counts. When I do see him, I am usually yelling at him for silly reasons. He doesn't get angry, though, because he knows that it is just the pregnancy hormones. He just sits and waits for my yelling to stop, then comforts me until I fall asleep.

Christina and I go throught the few shops that actually sell baby items. We find furniture for the baby's room, enough clothes to last her the first year of her life, and plenty of toys. I am glad there isn't a reason for Christina to make me try any rediculous clothes on, or force me to buy pounds of make up that I will never use.

"So, what are you planning on naming your daughter?" asks Christina, carrying multiple bags of clothes for herself. She looks at me expectantly, a large grin on her face. I can tell she is as exited for this baby as I am.

"I was thinking of Markaya, but Four was suggesting Rayden."

"When you think of names, you have to think about all the nicknames they can have. For Markaya, you could have Mar, Mark, Kaya," she says, walking backwards to see me better. I like her approach, but I don't see why nicknames matter.

"And for Rayden, there could be Ray, Ray-Ray, or you could continue with the number nickname thing. What do you think?" She asks.

"Well, I don't see why nicknames matter."

"They don't matter? Both you and Four go by your nicknames. I would expect your child to also." She replies, exhasperated.

"Well, that doesn't really help me choose." I say, looking at the ground.

"You could also choose by how they sound with your last name. Who's name are you using?" I stop in my tracks. Tobias and I haven't even talked about that. I would want to use his name, but then they could figure out who he is. We will have to talk about this later.

"Do last names even matter in Dauntless?" I try to avoid her question. I continue walking with her, my arms starting to get tired from holding the many shopping bags.

"We aren't getting anywhere," she sighs, throwning her arms into the air, causing her many shopping bags to rustle. We continue to walk back to our apartments in silence. My mind starts to take over, my thoughts drifting to those of my daughter. I wonder what she will be like. I hope she looks like Tobias, with his dark hair and beautiful blue eyes. I also hope she doesn't get my gene for being so short, I want her to be confident in herself. I imagine the times I will spend with her, her birthdays, telling her stories, doing her hair. A feeling of joy fills chest, spreading thoughout my whole body. I don't even realize that Christina is yelling at me, a few feet ahead of me. I come out of my thoughts and walk up to her. I must have stopped walking, lost in my thoughts.

We get back to our apartments, which are across the hall from each other. Christina says she has something to do and steps into her apartment, leaving me alone. Usually she wouldn't do that, concidering that she made an agreement with Tobais to never let me out her sight when he was gone. I set my many bags down in the baby's empty room. I was going to send Tobias and some of the other guys to go pick up all the funiture later. I look around at the empty room, thinking about where to put everything, my hand absent mindedly rubbing my stomach. Somebody clears their throat behind me, causing me to jump, spinning around to face the person. I calm down and smile when I realize it is Tobias.

"I didn't think you would be back for a few hours." I say as I run into his arms. His arms wrap around me and I hug him tightly, my face buried in his shirt.

"What, it's not like I have been gone for days. I just got off early so I could spend more time with you." He chuckles pulling me out of the bedroom and to the couch, sitting me down next to him.

"So how have you been? I haven't had a chance to talk to you in days." He says, taking my hands in his. He runs his thumbs across my palms, tracing my hands.

"I have been fine, just a bit tired. Shopping with Christina wipes you out. I have been walking for hours." I try to get my shoes off, but can't bend down far enough because of my large stomach. Tobias pulls my feet onto his lap, slipping my boots off of my swollen feet. He starts to massage them, releiving the throbbing that has been irritanting me for hours.

"Thank you. I have been needing to ask you a few things," I tell him. He just nods, signaling for me to continue. "The first thing is that I need you to go pick up the furniture that I bought for the baby's room. Christina and I didn't feel like trying to lug it all up here."

"Okay, I might need to get a few people to help me. What else do you need?" He continues to rub my feet.

"We never talked about the last name for the baby." I state. He stops for a moment, looking up at me. I quickly continue. "I wanted her to have your name but-"

"They would find out who I was." I notice how he says (was), like he is a new person here in Dauntless. "I never thought of it that way."

"Do you have to hide anymore? Does your past life really effect you here? Nobody cares who you were in Abnegation." I sit forward and put a hand on his cheek, getting his attention.

"I don't know, let me think about it. Why don't I go get the furniture now?" He asks, changing the subject. He calls up Uriah and Zeke to help him, then leaves to go meet them at the Pit. I wait in silence for a while until they get back, carrying pink and black chairs and a crib in a box and various other items. They set them down in the baby's room and come back into the living room.

"Hey Tris, haven't seen you in a while." says Uriah as I struggle to stand up and hug him. "Wow you are huge." He pokes my stomach gently through Tobias's large shirt I am wearing, because I couldn't find any clean clothes of mine that fit me. I punch Uriah's shoulder lightly.

"Well, I can't wait to be an uncle. I will get to give her good relationship advice. I know whatever you tell her to do will make all the guys avoid her." Zeke tells Tobias.

"Hey! I am not-" Tobias starts, but I interrupt him.

"Please don't start fighting over who is better. We have seen enough of that already." I say, standing between them. They try to glare at each other, but end up laughing. They are so immature sometimes.

"We should get going, I've got to go home and do nothing," announces Uriah as he opens the door.

"Thanks for helping, see you later." I say as they both walk out of the door, waving good-bye. I turn to Tobias.

"We should propably set up the baby's room now, before I start to get tired." He nods and we walk into the nursery, pieces of furniture scattered all over the floor. We - well actually Tobias - painted the walls with dark pink and black stripes. We wanted it to be girly, but Dauntless.

I tell Tobias where to put the furniture. I just sort all the clothes into the dresser and closet. There isn't much else I can do. Once we are done with everything, we stand back in the doorway and admire our work. It looks great, perfect for our daughter.

I rub my stomach, anticipating getting to see our child. Tobias wraps his arms around my from behind, pulling me against him. He puts his chin on top of my head, covering my belly with his large hands. Suddenly, the baby start to kick, as if sensing that he is there. He grins widely, rocking me back and forth in his embrace. I love to see him at these times, when he is so excited for our child to be born. I wish I could share his enthusiasem, though. The thought of me having to be a mother very soon makes my stomach wrench.

"Did you think about what our baby's last name is yet?" I ask uncertainly, not sure about how he feels.

"Well, our friends will have to find out about me sometime. There's really no point in hiding it any longer." He seems relieved, not burdend by living a secret life. I turn around to face him, smiling brightly.

"So we can use your name?"

"Yes, we can. I can't wait to see their reactions," he says, chuckling at the thought.

"Now all we need is a name for her."

"I still think Rayden is a good," he proposes.

"No, it sounds too boyish," I tell him. He pouts, but then looks off into space, contemplating other names.

"What about Zena?"

"Maybe."

"Jade?"

"Maybe."

"Stormy?"

"Maybe."

"Carmindy?" (My sister's friend's daughter is named Carmindy. I just thought it was an awesome name)

"What? Where did you get that?" I asks him as we walk into our bedroom.

"I just thought of it. Is isn't as strange as Markaya, though. Don't you like it?" We lay down on the bed, snuggling under the covers. We didn't care to change our clothes, and I am too exhausted to even get up again anyways.

"I guess. I do really want a unique name. But why don't you like Markaya?" I try sound hurt, but instead sound like a kid having a tantrum. This causes Tobias to chuckle, placing a hand on my stomach that looks like a mountain under the sheets.

"I like it, but it just doesn't seem right." He leans forward and kisses me gently, pulling back after a second. "Why don't we figure this out later, it's getting really late."

I nod and flip over, my back against his chest. He drapes his arm around my baby bump protectively, but also comfortingly. I slowly drift off into a deep sleep, at least until the baby wakes me up with its insistent kicking.

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**Here's a pic of what the nursery looks like ;) (****images. app. goo. gl/mPnrDnHQUUi7jsnh6)**

**And here's what Tris's outfit looks like (****images. app. goo. gl/GvQZvnFYyHEuFFhL7)**

**And here's a picture of the rat that killed my parents (****images. app. goo. gl/AxRp8kSmcuhi7bi98)**

**This chapter was boring as hell. Even the ever-suspenseful gender reveal was reduced to a flippant one-sentence remark. I'm just glad there wasn't a gender reveal party. Doesn't seem very Dauntless to throw arbitrary celerations for unborn babies, but that might have just been my innate hatred of baby showers and gender reveals jumping out.**

**Still no baby name, though. No no no, they can't just settle on some name beforehand like a couple of plebs. No, it has to come to them in a beautifully staged and heartwarming scene where she is cradling her newborn child in her arms and a light shines upon them like the Lord himself has delivered the perfect name unto them via holy carrier pigeon and she smiles and says "What about Bob?" and everyone lights up and thinks _Wow, isn't that just perfect? Why didn't I think of that before?_ And everything is just lolipops and rainbows and unicorn farts.**

**God, I really hope I didn't actually write it like that. Guess we'll find out soon.**

**And yes, this is the 4th out of 5 chapters to end with the characters going to sleep. Yes, I am keeping count.**

**Review if this is the rat that killed your parents (i****mages. app. goo. gl/AxRp8kSmcuhi7bi98)**


	6. Chapter 6

Tobias was reluctant to work today, since I am due any day now. But I sent him off, telling him not to worry. These past two months have been hard. I am barely able to walk, sit up, or anything other than laying in bed all day and eat. I can't wait to have this baby, mainly because I am sick of being pregnant.

My wallowing around on the bed, trying to get comfortable, was interrupted by a knock on the door. I groan and try to sit up, finally getting my feet on the floor after a few minutes. I waddle over to the door, screaming at who ever is at the door to wait a second. When I finally open it, Christina and Marlene jump inside, smiling widly.

"Hey Tris, we just came here to cheer you up, because we knew you would be misrable." pipes Christina.

"Well, I am, but I don't think you can really do anything about it," I mumble, getting irritated.

"Sure we can," Marlene states like it is obvious.

"Do you have food?" I ask. They nod.

"Good, I haven't eaten in like an hour." I say as I move out of the way to let them in. Christina hands me the paper bag that she was holding, which I immediatly tear open and gobble down the food inside. They sit in the living room, and I eventually follow, falling into one of the large black chairs next to the couch.

We talk about everything, but mainly about babies. Christina keeps referring to my child as 'mini Tris', which I keep protesting to, insisting that she will look like Tobias. I rub my enomous stomach, wishing I could be holding my baby girl in my arms right now. But I also start to get nervous. I will be a mother any day now, but will I be ready for this responsibility yet?

Suddenly, I feel a sharp pain in my lower stomach, making my whole body jolt. Christina and Marlene both stop what they are doing and start fussing over me, asking me what is wrong. I just wave them off and say that it was nothing, and convince myself that everything is fine. I believe it until I feel another sharp stab a few minutes later. I grab my stomach and fall out of the chair, gasping in pain.

Christina grabs my arm, trying to pull me up. I shake my head, tears falling from my eyes. I don't want to move, it hurts too much.

"Tris, you have to get up. We need to get you to the infirmary. I have a feeling that mini Tris is coming soon." She sounds exhasperated, but also exited. I am no where near exited. I can't this baby now. I am not ready. But when will I ever be ready?

Christina lifts me up, yelling at Marlene to go get Four. I can't imagine what will go through his head when he finds out that I am going into labor. The pain subsides, letting me focus on getting to the infirmary as fast as possible. Christina and I stumble down the hall, getting more and more anxious by the second.

Halfway there, Tobias and Marlene come running around the corner as I have another contraction. I groan in pain as black spots dance in my vision, and I fall to my knees. My finger nails dig into my palms, tears still running down my face. Tobias picks my up, rurunning in the direction of the infirmary.

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Three excrutiating hours later, I am holding my beautiful daughter, wrapped tightly in pink blankets. I am overwhelmed with joy, but at the same time terrified. I have always wanted children, but I have no idea how to take care of one. Tobias is sitting in chair next to my bed, staring at our child with wide eyes. I don't know if it is because he just watched me give birth, or that our daughter is actually here now. It could be both.

She has tufts of golden blond hair, porcelin white skin, Tobias's nose, and my tiny ears. She squirms slightly in my arms, making small whining noises. I still can't imagine how this is really happening. I should be waking up from this dream any minute now. But no, this is real, this is happening. I am a mother now.

I gasp as she opens her eyes, revealing dazziling blue-grey irises, just like mine. She looks up at me, taking me in. Tobias comes closer to me, looking at her over my shoulder.

"I still can't believe that we are parents now." His voice shakes like he is scared, which I'm sure he is. Reality has hit us with the arrival of our child. We do have to commit to taking care of her, making sure she is raised correctly.

"She is beautiful, just like you," he whispers, kissing my cheek.

"We still need to figure out a name for her." I pull the blanket away from her face, gingerly touching her cheek. She reaches a tiny hand towards me, her fingers brushing my raven tattoos. I have four now. I got one for Tobias a while ago, a few weeks before my birthday. I suppose I should get one for her, because she is a part of my family. She seems fasinated by them. This gives me an idea.

"What if we named her Raven?"

Tobias looks surprised at first, but then smiles widley. "That is the perfect name. I love it. Raven Eaton."

I smile back, relieved that we finally agreed on something. I love the name. It is special, a part of me, and very Dauntless.

"Do you want to hold Raven?" I ask him, trying out her name.

"Of course I want to." I carefully hand her to him, but he seems hesitant. He probably is afraid that this perfect moment will be ruined by him doing something wrong. He just stares down at her in his arms for a while. It's strange to see such a masculin person holding something so delcate.

Tobias holds up his hand to Raven, and she grabs his finger in her small hand. He grins at me, obviously proud of his wonderful daughter.

Suddenly, there is a quiet knock at the door, and it opens slowly to reveal all of our friends. I beckon them in, exited for them to meet Raven. Christina looks estactic, covering her mouth as tears shine in her eyes. Marlene and Shauna smile at us. All of the guys smirk at Tobias, trying to hide their happiness.

"Look at the happy parents," Christina says, sitting on the egde of my bed. "And this adorable little girl must be Mini Tris," she coos, pointing at Raven.

"What did you decide to name her?" asks Marlene, walking to my other side.

"Raven." I hesitate, glancing at Tobias, "Raven Eaton."

A look of confusion spreads across the room.

"Eaton? Isn't the last name of one of the Abnegaton leaders?" asks Uriah.

"Yeah, the one who supposedly abused his son." Will states.

"The guy who trasferred to Dauntless. Wasn't his name Tobias?" Marlene asks. They all suddenly look at Tobias with wide eyes.

"You are Tobias?" Zeke asks. He nods solumly. "You have been my best friend for three years and you didn't tell me?"

"Is all that true, about your father abusing you?" Shauna asks, concerned. He nods again, not looking up from Raven. Everyone murmers apologies and rude things about his father.

"Why don't you all leave. Tris is very tired." Tobias says it more as a command. They all say good-bye, taking one last look at Raven before they go out of the door. I realize for the first time that I am exhausted. But I can't sleep now. I want to spend more time with Raven. But I can feel myself slipping away. I look over at Tobias and reach for my daughter.

"Tris, you need to rest. Don't worry, I'll take care of her." He tells me. I nod as I slip into the darkness.

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***Raucous applause* Thank you, thank you! I would like to thank my mother and father and my parents for being there for me, as well as Veronica Roth for giving me the medium through which I have come up with the most cliché and on-the-nose baby name of all time! Don't you just love the back story behind it? Oh, she named her child after a tattoo she got that represented her irrational fear of birds. Isn't that so sweet? **

**Also, Tobias drama! He told everyone who he was then after they started asking questions, he immediately kicked them out before they even had a chance to see his child. What a wonderful friend. **

**The writing in this chapter literally made me want to barf. It's just getting worse and worse. There's absolutely no subtlety to it. I just threw in lines about how scared she is to be a parent, how she doesn't know how to take care of a baby, all willy nilly with no sort of integration whatsoever. ****And don't go saying, "Oh I'm sure it was just a rough draft," no, I know the way I used to write. I never rewrote or did any major editing. I just wrote it down, gave it a once over and posted it right then and there. The whole process only took around an hour or two. Absolutely despicable.**

**Review if ****you've named your child after your irrational fear of birds.**

**And have a great Thanksgiving if you're reading this in America!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I just realized that I put authors notes in my original draft of the story, and looking at the one for the first chapter now, the unintentional irony is literally killing me. **

**_I was just reading some no war stories where Tris gets pregnant, and I got really annoyied. They are all the same: unrealstic bad things happen while she is pregnant, she almost loses the baby, it is born, it immediantely skips sixteen years into the future at the kid's choosing ceremony. I want to see how they raise the baby, not everybody trying to kill Tris for some reason. I personnally HATE when people skip many years in fanfiction, because you miss so much and it gets confusing. Also, the baby's names are never original, usually they are named Shailene, Tori, Will, Natalie, and other names of characters from the books. So I decided to write my own realistic original story about Tris being pregnant. I hope you injoy it._**

**_ORIGINAL. _The gall I had at fourteen attach that word to anything I wrote, especially this. And _r__ealistic_? I think the only realistic part of this story is how uninteresting it is to be pregnant. Along with the exceptionally cliché baby name and the fact that I'm pretty sure in the planning of the later chapters of this story (which I never ended up writing) I skipped ahead about ten years to show their kid choosing her faction, this statement is pretty much a flat-out lie. I have no idea how I was so incredibly inept at rational thought that I saw no problem with this. And don't even get me started onow the spelling. My God, I know I didn't have spell-check on the Nook I was using at the time, but I was _fourteen_! A freshman in high school should know how to spell enjoy!**

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Very early the next morning, the nurse says that we can take Raven home. I am still exhausted, and from what I have heard about newborns, I probably will not get to sleep anytime soon.

After the nurse gives us a breif lesson on parenting, Tobias brings me clothes and a baby carrier from our apartment. I quickly change, Tobias trying to figure out how to put Raven in the carrier. I help him, and we walk out of the infirmary, him holding Raven. Fortunatly, nobody is out this early, so nobody will be staring at us. I never see any young children around here. Maybe the parents keep them safe inside their apartments until they are old enough. Dauntless isn't a place for babies.

Apparently Tobias told all of our friends to not come see us for a week, so we can settle down. I agree with him. I don't really want our friends pestering us every day when we are busy with our child.

Once we near our apartment, I start to get anxious. I have no idea how to do this. I have no prior experence with children. I'm sure Tobias doesn't either. We step through our door, revealing a clean room. I guess Tobias cleaned up a little while I was asleep.

We walk into Raven's room, and Tobias sets down her carrier on a table. She had fallen asleep on the way here. I still haven't been able to fathom the thought of having a child. I feel like I am in a different world, like nothing is real.

Tobias and I just stand and stare at her, taking her in. I never noticed how small she is, the carrier seeming to swallow her. It's hard to imagine that she was inside of me just yesterday

Tobias takes my hands in his, turning me to face him. "How are you feeling? I never got to ask."

"Tired, sore, happy, terrified," I list. He takes me in his arms, hugging me tightly. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face into his shirt.

"We can get through this. We are strong," he tells me as he rubs my back. I pull back and bring his lips to mine. I haven't kissed him in so long, he was always gone. But now it's just me and him, and Raven. We get to spend the next few months as a family.

Our kissing is interrupted by a shrill cry, causing us to spring apart. Raven has woken up, and is crying.

"She is probably hungry." I say, picking her up gently. I feed her and she immediatly stops crying. I hold her in my arms, bouncing her lightly. Tobias comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and Raven, setting his head on my shoulder. Raven opens her dazzling stormy blue eyes and looks up at us, smiling slightly. I have never seen anything so beautiful, and it overjoys me. I look back at Tobias, and see that he is giddy too.

"I think she likes us," he states, hugging me tightly. He presses his lips to my temple, then takes her from my arms. He takes her on a "tour" of the apartment, telling her senseless stories that she would never understand. We stop in our bedroom and sit together on the bed.

Tobias leans down and kisses her forehead. "I love you," he whispers. She just reaches up and grabs his nose in her tiny hand. He chuckles and takes her hand away, handing her back to me.

"And I love you too." He gives me a quick kiss, smiling widely at me. I have never seen him so happy.

Raven plays with my long hair that hangs in her face. I have let it grow out past my waist, and really need to get it cut. She pulls on it with surprising strength, causing me to gasp in pain.

"Wow, you are one strong little baby," I tell her as I pull my hair out of her firm grasp. She smiles again, making me giggle.

"How are we supposed to do this, when we have no idea how to raise a child?" Tobias's happiness is gone, replaced by worry.

"Well, I have been thinking about asking Tori. She has some expirence," I tell him. I told him about Tori's family and what happened to them earlier."Maybe I could try calling her. She could give us some advice."

"Maybe in a few hours. It's still pretty early," he says, glancing at his watch. I look down at Raven to see that she has fallen asleep again. I get up and take her to her room, carefully placing her in the crib. I smile warmly at her sleeping form, elated that I can finally spend time with my amazing daughter, and that my long pregnancy is finally over.

Tobias comes up and hugs me tightly, pressing his lips to my cheek. He then surprises me by scooping me up in his arms and carrying me into our room, laying me down on the bed. He falls down next to me, his face next to mine.

"This might be some of the only free time that we will have for a while."

"Well then what do you want to do?" I ask, raising an eye brow at him.

He glances across the hall into Raven's room where we can see her crib through the open door. "There isn't much we can do."

"Lets just talk, quietly." I suggest, and he nods.

"What are you thinking?" He immediantly asks. The question startles me.

"Just about our future as parents."

"Oh, what exactly?"

"What Raven's first birthday will be like, what we will do with her, what her favorite color will be." He smiles at me, brushing the hair out of my face.

"Do you think that she will be a prodogy like us?" he asks, raising an eye brow at me.

"There's no way that she can't be," I reply, stifling a yawn.

"You need some sleep, we probably won't be getting any for a while."

"But what about Raven?" I ask, glancing back at her crib. She is still sleeping soundly. Tobais pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arms tightly around me.

"It's fine. We can keep the doors open so we can hear her."

"Ok. . ." I answer unsurely, but curling up against his chest anyway. I drift off slowly, as Tobias rubs my back, whispering loving things in my ear.

* * *

I shoot up in bed when I hear a shrill cry. I panic for a minute until I remember who it is. My beautiful daughter, Raven. Tobias groans beside me as I jump up and run across the hall to her room to see what is wrong. I change her and feed her before Tobias even comes in the room, stretching as he yawns loudly.

"How did you get up so fast?" he asks as I bounce Raven in my arms.

"It's part of being a mother. I have to make sure my baby is alright," I say in a childish voice, kissing Raven's forhead. It still feels strange, being a parent. But it has barely even been a day. We will get the hang of this sometime.

It's after noon now, and we decide to call Tori. She explians everything we would ever need to know about raising a child. We talk for hours about diapers, what types of bottles to use, what methods to use to teach her. After a while, Raven starts to get fussy, so I have to say good-bye. But I learned a lot.

* * *

Tobais and I mainly sleep over the next week, only getting up to tend to Raven and eat. But we are still constantly exhausted. On the morning of the last day of our week alone, I decide to get out of the house. I shower and find some nicer clothes to wear after telling Tobias that I am leaving. I'm sure he is capable of taking care of Raven alone.

Pulling my waist-length hair into a tight Abnegation bun, I check to see how I look in the mirror. I very prominent bags under my eyes, and I have filled out in many places from the baby weight. I sigh and step out of the door, jogging to the cafeteria. As I walk through the doors, many people turn and stare at me, whispering to each other. They are probably talking about how I am a slut for getting pregnant so early on. I have heard many people say that about me before. But I just ignore them all, strutting up to my usual table where all my friends are waiting egarly for me.

"Tris! I haven't seen you in so long!" Christina screams, hugging me tightly as I sit down next to her.

"It's only been a week." I push her off of me.

"That's forever in Christina time." Uriah jokes, making the table laugh.

"So how's it like being a mom?" Shauna asks, elbowing me in the ribs.

"Exhausting!" I exclaim, slumping on the table. They all laugh or sympathize for me.

"So when do we get to see mini Tris?" Christina asks egarly, bouncing in her seat. I lift my head up to see the others staring at me intently, waiting for my answer.

"Well, her name is Raven," I say sternly, tired of the silly nick name, "and, maybe later today. After lunch, I guess." They all get exicted and start to chatter on about meaningless things. I steal half of Uriah's cake while he isn't looking and shove it in my mouth. Christina notices and slaps my arm lightly.

"You shouldn't be eating cake. You need to loose that baby weight," says, poking my stomach. I throw back my head and groan while Uriah freaks out about me stealing his cake.

"Yeah, because I have pleanty of time to exercise when I just had a child." I reply sacastically. Christina just huffs and turns back to her food. After a while, I say good-bye and hurry back to the apartment. I just hope Tobias didn't burn it down or drop Raven out of a window. Okay, maybe that's a bit of an exageration, but anything could've happened.

I burst through the door, expecting to find panic, but everything is quiet. Too quiet. I run into Raven's bedroom to find Tobias sitting on the floor. He has his forehead pressed against the side on the crib, staring at a smiling Raven through the bars. I sit beside him, curious at what he is doing.

He smiles as she reaches up toward his face, stormy eyes wide, tiny body squirming. I can't help but smile too, leaning my head on Tobias's shoulder. We just sit in silence for a while, enjoying the precious moment.

After Raven falls asleep again, we go back to our room and lay down in bed next to each other.

"So, how did you do with the baby?" I ask, curling up against his chest. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me even closer.

"Well, everything was fine. I didn't destroy anything, as I'm sure you can see."

"But why where you sitting in front of her crib?"

"I don't know. I was just in really deep thought about our future and stuff," he says, smiling at me.

"Oh, by the way, everone is coming over after lunch, so you might want to get cleaned up."

* * *

I jump from the couch as I hear a quiet knock on the front door. Tobias is picking up some clothes and trash laying all over the floor. He instantly runs and throws everything in our bedroom as I open the door, revealing Christina, Uriah, Zeke, Marlene, Will, and Shauna. They grin as I let them in, settling down in the living room.

"Anytime you are here, you have to be quiet and calm." I tell them as I walk back to get Raven. "I'm looking at you Christina." They all snicker and pester Christina about how flambouyent she can get. I get Raven and stride back into the living area with Tobias trailing behind me.

"Oooooooooh, she's so cute!" Christina chirps quietly as I sit on Tobias's lap, who is sitting next to her. Placing Raven in my lap, I play with her hands. She smiles brightly at me, staring at me with her large eyes. Everyone swoons over her, telling me how adorable she is, how she looks just like me, how she is just so perfect. My chest swells with joy, proud to have Raven as a daughter, even if I am so young.

"Do you want to hold her?" I ask Christina. She nods vigorously, and I reluctantly hand Raven over, instructing her on how to hold her properly. Once she has her situated, she smiles wildly, overly exicted. Raven sees her and grins back, reaching up to her. That, of course, makes Christina even more excited.

"Hey, Raven. I'm your Aunty Chris," she coos. The rest of the day, we talk and pass around Raven. Everyone is so happy for us, even though some of them were angry when they found out that I was pregnant. I don't think any of them thought that I would actually go through with it. But could never get rid of my own child, even if I knew I wasn't responsible enough to have one.

After a while, Raven falls asleep in Tobias's arms, so I get off of him to let him bring her to her crib. I notice how everyone smirks at him as he walks back to her room.

"What?" I ask all of them.

"Oh, it's just weird seeing him be so soft, after thinking that he only ever could be intimidating and tuff," answers Zeke, everybody nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, he has changed a lot since he met you," Shauna adds, smiling slightly. Tobias walks back into the room, sitting next to me. There is an awkward silence for a while, until Zeke speaks up.

"So, what do you want us to call you now?" Tobias tenses up. The gleeful feeling is gone from the room.

"You can call me Four or Tobias. But only Four around people that don't know me. I don't want to talk about my past, so please don't ask," he replies, pulling me closer to him. He hides his face in my neck, his warm breathes against my skin.

I change the subject when there is another silence. We all talk for a little while longer, until Raven starts to cry. Everyone seems to realize the time, getting up to leave. Once everyone says good-bye and leaves, I run to take care of Raven. After I feed and change her, I go to find Tobias. He seemed to have dissapeared. I find him asleep on the couch in the living room. I laugh and lay next to him, snuggling against his chest, and eventually falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

**This chapter isn't actually that bad. I was intending it to be extremely touching, which I guess it is, a little bit. It'd be so much better if there were some personality to it, though. If it were something beyond the most bare-bone description of events and motivations. This story looks like I took another Divergent fanfic and trimmed out everything that made it interesting and only left what made it a story and nothing else. It's just boring. I can hardly even find comedic value in it anymore. I mean, I'm sure it's just going to get worse now that the main plot point has passed and there's no main conflict anymore. I actually have some inside info that the next chapter is going to be extremely dramatic and be a complete tonal shift from the rest of the story, not at all because I ran out of ideas and came back to it months later after I'd hit my melodramatic streak in my development as terrible writer. It's gonna be juicy.**

**And this is the 6th out of 7 chapters to end with Tris falling asleep. Yes I'm still counting.**

**Review if you have a number for a name and you're not ashamed of it at all. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry again for the long wait, but I guess that's just expected of me now. I decided to repaint my bedroom and in all it took about a week to get everything out, paint it, and then put everything back where it was before. But it looks nice now! I still to get some new curtains, but at this point I'm just sick anything to do with interior design. I'm starting a new semester soon, which sucks. But hopefully I'll be able to give a bit of attention to this fic in between everything else.**

**Anyways, onto the drama!**

* * *

The past months have been difficult. Taking care of a child is even harder than I thought. Many times, I have broken down in tears from the stress, wishing that I could just give up. I know that I am not the best mother, but I still love Raven unconditionally. I haven't slept for more than five hours at a time since she was born. I started working at the tattoo parlour again, on the days when Tobias doesn't work. Our friends sometimes come over to help us with Raven, but I am scared to let any of them babysit. I am very protective over my baby, and I don't want to take any chances with her.

She is around three months old now, and is growing fast. She loves to play with the many noisy toys that we leave laying around everywhere, and giggles in delight when we make strange faces at her or imitate the sounds she makes. She is still so fascinated with our tattoos. Anytime I hold her, she traces them with her discoordinate fingers.

I turned eighteen a few days ago. We obviously didn't do anything like last year. Tobias just bought me a beautiful dimond necklace and some chocolate cake. He also asked me to marry him again. It wasn't like a proposal, just a question. I dissagreed again, explaining that it was just another thing that made me feel like I was growing up too fast. I could see the hurt he was trying to hide. I wanted to marry him, but I just couldn't bring myself to say yes.

I had just gotten Raven to fall asleep when there was a loud knock on the door. It wakes her up, and she starts to whine. I try to calm her as I place her in her crib an run to the door. Tobias was still snoring away in our bed. The person keeps knocking insistantly, and it is starting to annoy me. I told every one to knock quietly, so not to wake Raven. I tear the door open, while screaming at whoever it is who is disrupting our lives.

"Can you not-" I stop in my tracks when I see who it is.

"Well, hello. You must be Beatrice." He smiles sweetly, but I can tell it is fake.

"Marcus," I hiss. He frowns and steps back. "Why are you here?"

"I heard some rumours that I had a grandchild," he pauses and listens to Raven's crying. "Now I know that they are true."

"Tobias!" I scream, trying to wake him up. Truthfully, I am terrified of his father, how he looms over me, scowling. I can see that he is planning something, the distant look in his eyes gives it away. But what is he planning? I can't let him get to Raven. He will probably kill her. The thought brings tears to my eyes, but I quickly blink them away, standing my ground.

"Tris? What's wrong?" Tobias stops a few feet behind me, giving a death glare to Marcus. He doesn't have a shirt on, so I can see each of his muscles tense. "How did you get here?"

"I am a leader. I can do whatever I want."

"That seems a little selfish for an Abnegation," Tobias says quietly through clenched teeth.

"Oh, you of all people know that I don't care about the rules of that petty faction. I only went there to hide." He glances back down at me. "Now I would like to come in to talk to my son."

"No. You can turn around and get your ass out of here. You don't belong here, you are too much of a coward." I start to shake out of anger and fear. I can see that Marcus is getting angry too. He easily swats me to the side as if I were just a pesky fly, knocking me to the ground. He struts over to Tobias, who is standing strong, but I can see the fear in his eyes.

"What I would like to know is why you are nineteen and have a child. I didn't raise you to be like this," Marcus says sternly, leaning closer to Tobias.

"You didn't raise me! You just beat me!"

"Well, you didn't have to knock up that whore!" Marcus says, pointing back at me. I crouch in the corner, silently crying as they bicker, wishing I could go help Raven, who is still screaming.

Tobias slams Marcus against the wall, holding his arm against his throat. "Don't you dare talk about my girlfriend like that."

Marcus instantly punches Tobias in the stomach, then pushes him to the ground while he is distracted. I scream, scrambling towards him.

"No Tris. Go get Raven and run." He wheezes, glancing at me. I nod, jumping up and sprinting to Raven's room. I pick her up and she calms down a little bit. Holding her against my chest, I run back through the house, only to find Marcus whipping Tobias with his belt. I gasp and freeze, trying to choose between helping Tobias or saving Raven.

Tobias lets out a tortured scream, causing my heart to break a little. I can't help him. He wouldn't want me to risk myself or Raven. Tears run down my face as I run out of the door. I zip my jacket around Raven to make sure she is warm enough. My bare feet lead me down the oddly empty hallways, Raven crying against my chest. I end up at Christina's apartment. I bang on the door, trying to calm both Raven and myself.

"Tris, what happened?" Christina asks when she sees me. I shuffle inside to the living room where Will is sprawled across the couch. Sitting in a chair, I unzip my jacket and gather Raven in my arms, rocking back and forth as I let out a sob.

"Tris, what happened?" Christina asks again, kneeling beside me.

"Marcus." I sputter out, rubbing Raven's back. She still hasn't stopped crying, which worries me.

"Who?"

"T-Tobias's father. H-he came to our apartment because he found out that we had a k-kid. He started beating him and Tobias told me to take Raven a-and leave." I gasp for air, wiping tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand.

"Oh my gosh. Is there anything we can do?" Will asks, exhasperapted. He is pacing back and forth in front on the couch know, probably thinking of a solution.

"No, his father is vicious. He could hurt one of you." Then a terrible thought surfaces in my mind. "What if Marcus kills him? I can't live without him. I don't want to be a single mother. Raven can't grow up without a father-"

"Tris!" Christina interrupts loudly. "Calm down. You are overreacting, and you are smothering Raven. Let me see her." I relunctantly hand her over. "Tobias got first in his initiation for a reason. He can defend himself."

I nod and let myself relax. But I still wish that I could go back and help him. I don't know what condition he will be in the next time I see him. How will I know when it will be safe to go find him?

"I know!" Will exclaims, as if reading my mind. We just stare at him quizzickly until he explains. "I can go to the control room and watch the cameras to see when his dad leaves. There's no cameras in the apartments, but there is in the hallways. When I see him leave, we can go back to your place and see what happened."

"Do you know how to work the controls?" Christina asks, bouncing a now calm Raven in her arms.

"No, but I can figure it out. I was raised in Erudite, you know," he replies, almost boastingly. I didn't know he actually liked Erudite.

We agree on the plan and he leaves for the control room. Christina and I just sit in silence, her rocking Raven as I lay back in the chair.

After a while, I start to get tired. I have been falling asleep at the strangest times lately. I lay down on the couch, trying to get comfortable while we wait.

"Tris, Raven is asleep. What do you want me to do with her?" Christina whispers. I reach out and motion for her to give her to me, and she does. I place Raven on my chest, holding her tiny head to my shoulder. I feel better with her sleeping with me. I slowly slip away, feeling her small breaths on the bare skin of my neck.

I am lightly shaken awake, a bright light blinding me. Raven is still snuggled up on my chest, her head tucked into my neck. Christina is smiling sadly down at me, with Will standing in the background. I slowly sit up, trying not to wake up Raven.

"Tobias's dad left your apartment a while ago. He looked pretty beat up," Will tells me reassuringly.

"How long has it been?" I ask.

"About an hour. You and I can go check on him and Chris can watch Raven for you," he says, pointing to Christina. I look between them for a second, then nod and hand Raven over. I quickly instruct Christina on anything she would need to know about caring for Raven, even though there isn't much she can do without me here. She just nods and ushers us out of the door.

We sprint back to Tobias's and my apartment, panting more and more as we get closer. I gasp when I see our door, which is wide open, with blood smeared near the handle. With careful steps, we enter the apartment, avoiding shards of broken glass that scatter the floor. Crimson stains some of the tables, chairs, the walls, and the floor in one area. Furniture is broken and mispalaced. Tobias must have really stood up for himself. But Marcus and he are evenly matched, which explains why there is so much destruction. There only seems to be damage in the living room, but where is Tobias?

I hear a moan coming from beside the couch, and I run over to it, my heart pounding. Tears spring to my eyes as a battered Tobias comes into view. He looks dreadful, with welts and lash marks covering where the bruises don't, and that is just the front of him. He is laying on his back in a growing pool of blood, staring dazed at the ceiling. I let out a sob and fall to my knees next to him.

"Tobias? Tobias can you hear me?" I ask loudly, him moaning again in response.

"Will, we have to get him to the infirmary now. Help me lift him up," I command, pulling Tobias's arm over my shoulder. Will does the same, and we drag him out of the door. I notice the large amount of blood dripping from the back of his head, hoping that he doesn't have any majour head injuries. I can tell that he is trying to walk, but he is barely concious.

After a lot of dragging, stumbling, bleeding, and moaning, we get Tobias to the infirmary. They rush him back on a bed without question, leaving us in the empty waiting room, covered in his blood. I fall into one of the cold metal chairs, finally letting my emotions catch up to me. I pull my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around them while I quietly sob into my knees.

It's at this time I realize how young I actually am. I am still so vulnerable and weak. I can still be hurt.

Will solumly rubs my back, whispering calming things into my ear. After a few minutes, an older nurse comes in and says that we can't come to see him until tomorrow morning. He is in critical condition, but she won't tells us why exactly. We sit for a while until I realize that Raven is still with Christina. We jump up and run back to her apartment.

"Tris, your back!" Christina says, then sees the blood staining our skin and clothes. She is rocking Raven, who is crying again. I reach out for her, but Christina backs away. "I think you should get washed up before I give her back to you." She explains, seeing my confusion. I just nod and walk into the bathroom, scrubbling my hands and arms in the sink, turning the warm soapy water pink. Christina lets me barrow some of her clothes, which are all black of course.

When I get out, I feed Raven, then sit back in the living area with her in my lap. I don't say anything for a while. I just stare at Raven, trying to hold back tears.

"So, what happened?" Christina asks uncertainly.

I take a shakey breath, pushing down the emotions. I quickly explain how he was when we found him and how we can't see him until tomorrow

"Well, you can stay here until we get your place cleaned up," Will tells me, and I nod and thank him.

I feel so empty without Tobais beside me. I guess that being with him every minute for the past three months made me forget what is was like before we had Raven. Knowing that he could have a serious injury that he may not heal from makes it even worse. I can't believe Marcus did this this to him. He is a very irrational thinker, and acts on impulse without a second thought. I guess he heard the rumours and decided that he needed to teach Tobias a lesson.

Will quickly goes back to my apartment to get a few of my things for Raven and to lock the front door. Once he gets back, we all get ready for bed, the two of them going into their bed room, and me setting Raven down in a make-shift crib in one of the chairs. I lay back down on the couch, drifting off almost instantly.

The next morning, we all leave for the infirmary after eating breakfast, with me holding Raven in her carrier. I am so nervous to see what is wrong with Tobias. What if he has memory loss? What if he is paralized? What if he is brain dead? No, Tris, no. I tell myself. Stop overthinking this. He will be fine no matter what condition he is in.

We walk up to the front desk, asking what room he is in. The woman working there instucts us where to go, but Christina and Will let me go in first. I knock on the door, anxious to see what is inside. The nurse that talked to me yesterday opens the door, smiling sweetly at me.

"Hello, are you here for Four?" I nod and she lets me in. "So, who are you?"

"I'm Tris, his girlfriend, and this is our daughter, Raven," I tell her, pointing to Raven in her carrier. I finally look over to Tobias layed on his stomach in the narrow bed. He is almost completely covered in bandages, with many machines hooked up to him. His eyes are open slightly, but I don't know if he is awake. I resist the urge to run to him, and continue to talk to the nurse.

"Oh, really? I didn't know he had a kid. She is so cute." She coos. I'm glad that she didn't acknowledge how young we are.

"So, how is he?"

"Oh, he just has a few stitches on his back and we cleaned his wounds. He also has a bad concussion and a few bad bruises that will take a while to fade. He is on some sedatives, so he isn't completely aware right now," she explains. I nod slowly, setting down the carrier on the floor, sitting in the chair next to his bed.

I am extremely releived that he is okay. I let out a sigh that I didn't know I was holding in, a weight lifting off of my shoulders. The nurse excuses herself to tend to other patients, waving at me as she closes the door behind her. She is much too nice to be a Dauntless born. But she looks like she is in her late twenties, so she must have a lot of experience as a nurse. But if she was from a different faction, she probably would have had some of the Dauntless ways rub off on her by now. **(I usually don't makes notes within the text, but I just had to acknowledge how weird and random this tangent is.)**

I turn back to Tobias, taking one of his bandaged hands in mine, rubbing it lightly. He slowly pulls my hand towards his face, kissing my fingers gently.

"Hey, Trissy," he whispers tiredly.

"Hey, Toby," I reply, continuing with the nickname thing.

"I stood up to him." He is talking about Marcus. I knew that he would stand up to him. He isn't afriad of him anymore. I smile and nod, proud of him.

"I brought Raven." I tell him, lifting her out of her carrier and placing her in my lap.

"There's my baby girl." He reaches out weakly and pats her head. I set her on the bed in front of him. At first she whines a bit, probably because she doesn't recognize him. His face is disfigured with briuses and cuts, and his head is covered in more bandages. But when he talks to her, she seems to calm down.

"It's okay, baby. It's just daddy," he says soothingly, rubbing her back. It warms my heart to see him like this, being so fatherly. Even though we are sitting a in hospital room right now, I finally see us as a family. Before, I kind of just thought of Raven as someone I had to take care of; but now see her as my daughter, _our_ daughter.

"Marcus thinks you are a bad thing, but he is wrong. You are a miracal." He kisses her forehead lightly, while she looks up at him with her wide stormy eyes. I am so angry at Marcus. Why does he care that Tobias is a dad? He never cared about him when he was younger. Maybe it was bad on his reputation to be thought of as the leader who's only son left for Dauntless and had a child with an even younger Abnegation transfer. Saying it like that makes it sound like Tobias is a rapist or something, and who would want to be the father of a rapist? The Erudite probably have been releasing stories about this for a while. They always twist the truth to make others look bad. I just hope my father or my brother don't find out about us. They would be just as bad as Marcus.

I lay my head on Tobias's pillow, breathing in the clean scent. He glances up, his dark blue eyes locking on mine. Slowly, we both lean forward, our lips pressing together. Our kiss isn't urgent, but soft and loving. After a while, we pull away, our foreheads touching.

"I love you," I whisper as he cups my cheek in his hand.

"I love you more."

* * *

After a week of visiting Tobias every day in the infirmary, he finally gets to come home today. Will finally got everthing fixed in our apartment, with some of my help. I carry Raven in my arms, tired of the bulky carrier. Striding into the infirmary, I make my way to his room, where he is getting ready.

"Hey Toby," I say as I open the door. We have been using those nicknames for each other ever since the first time I came to see him here. He is sitting on the narrow bed, pulling on his black shirt stiffly. He is still covered in badages.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a little sore." I help him up, then hand him Raven. She immediatly snuggles up to him, half asleep already. We stroll back home, holding hands. I am so glad to have him back. I have missed him so much. It's hard to live without the one you love most, even if only for a week.

When we get to our apartment, we collapse on the bed. Tobias wraps an arm around me, cradaling Raven in the other.

"Just me and my girls," he states, kissing my lips and Raven's forehead. I giggle, stroking Raven's blonde hair. Again, I think about how young I am. I'm really just a child myself, forced to grow up too fast. I sigh, laying my head on Tobias's shoulder. I am sure, in the end, we will all be okay.

* * *

**Wow, what a horror show. I feel offended after reading that but I can't decide why. Tobias was getting the shit beat out of him by his dad, so they decided to sit around and just let it happen? And then they just left him there for an hour? Did they think he was just chilling at their apartment and drinking a beer or something? Obviously he needed help! But everyone around him has a total of -4 brain cells and are unable to process complex thought. Even I cannot parse how fourteen-year-old me believed that was a good idea.**

**And then Tris goes from being angry at Marcus to rationalizing his actions within one paragraph, completely contradicting herself, and I saw absolutely no problem with that. **

**Also Tobias calling Raven their 'miracal' baby is extremely ironic considering she is the result of two teenagers having drunk sex in a closet. And the nicknames. Uhg, barf. Hope they don't have a comeback, seriously. I'm sick of all this hamfisted lovey-dovey crap, it's as fake as a Kardashian's ass. I didn't know shit about romance, I mean, uh, I still don't, but at least I'm a better writer. . .**

**At least this chapter didn't end with her falling asleep. It came close, but maybe that was just me finally catching onto how repetitive I was being a deciding to change it up a little.**

**Also I was listening to the Divergent soundtrack while I was doing this, and you know what? It fucking slaps. The movies might have been dogshit but whoever put together the soundtrack deserves an award. _Find You_ by Zedd was my fucking jam in 2014.**

**Review if you still listen to the soundtracks for young adult fiction movie adaptations in the year of our Lord 2020. **


	9. Chapter 9

**So. . .this wasn't the situation I was envisioning when I said I hoped I'd have some time to finally come back to this story. My university is having classes online for the next month, and my state has shut down all schools. I'm just doing my part and staying the fuck home. I mean, it's not like I'd be doing much else with my spring break. So, assuming most of you are in the same boat as me right now, I thought I'd give you a bit of entertainment to provide some distraction from everything else that is going on.**

* * *

I hate myself.

I hate myself so much.

I can't believe what I did.

The moment Tris told me she was pregnant, I wanted to run away. A child was the last thing I needed. There was no way that we could ever be able to take care of one. But I lied. I told her that I wanted the baby. I told her that everything was going to be alright.

Over the next months, I kept lying to Tris, acting like I was excited about the baby. I couldn't tell if she really wanted the child or not. But I still didn't. I thought that I would get used to the idea of being a father. But I never did. I spent my days hiding in the control room, not wanting to see Tris because she was a constant reminder of everything that was wrong in our lives right then.

I couldn't bring myself to tell Tris that I didn't want the baby. Everytime I tried, I imagined our future as a family. But we would be a broken family. I didn't want our child to have to live with a father that didn't want them. I didn't want them to go through what I did.

That day, I had finally gathered up enough courage to tell Tris that I couldn't do it. That I couldn't put my child through that. I thought that she might understand. Or she might have thrown me out. But at least that would have been better for our daughter.

But I didn't get the chance to tell Tris, because Marlene came bursting into the control room, screaming at me to come help with Tris, because she had gone into labor. I had never been more scared in my life. I thought of running then. Hiding forever. But I could never betray Tris like that. But I just couldn't bare the thought of being a father.

But that all changed when I held our daughter in my arms. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, with a perfect mixture of Tris's and my features. Though, she looked more like Tris. I had never been filled with so much joy and pride. I loved everything about her: the way she smiled, her dazzling stormy blue eyes, her tiny hands that clasped my fingers. It was at that moment that I realized that I did want a family, maybe not now, but that didn't matter. I was going to stay. I was going to raise Raven to the best of my abilities. Everything was going to be alright. I never did tell Tris about how I lied to her. I know that she would never forgive me.

Now, on my day off, I lay on my stomach on the bed with Raven wallowing in the sheets beside me. She is five months old, and has changed quite a bit. She looks even more like Tris now, and can crawl around on her stomach. She is my life, my reason to keep going. I love every minute with her. I was wrong thinking that I would abandon her and Tris. After living my childhood with no mother and an abusive father, I am elated to start my own family and make it how I wish mine was.

Raven gabbles happily as she scoots toward me, climbing up on my bare back, pausing to trace my tattoos. Though, the black designs are ruined by the new scars lashing across my skin. I am still haunted by nightmares about that day that Marcus came and attacked me. But they aren't about me. They always are about him whipping Tris or kidnapping Raven. And I can never do anything to save them. Almost every night, I wake up screaming their names, waking both of them up and probably everyone in the apartments around us.

I scoop up Raven and flip over, standing her up on my stomach. She screams happily, bouncing up and down, her tiny feet pressing into my ribs. "So what do you want to do today?" I ask, obviously not expecting an answer. Raven just gabbles and drools on her shirt.

"Well, I'm hungry. Let's get some breakfast." I stand up from the bed, lifting Raven with me. I stride into the kitchen and open up the refrigerator, grabbing the last peice of chocolate cake. I really need to get more. As I close the door with my foot, Raven reaches out and tries to grab my plate.

"No, no, no. No cake for baby. My cake." I sit her down in her high chair and get a jar of baby food out of the cabinent. As I eat my cake, I spoon feed Raven her mush, her chattering and talking in her baby language the whole time. Once we are done with breakfast, she is covered in spit up food, so I decide to give her a bath.

I stip off her sticky clothes and sit her in the little baby bath thing in the sink. After quickly washing her down, I wrap her tightly in a towel.

"Let's get dressed, baby." I walk into her room, holding her on my hip. After picking out clothes that seem to match, I slip them on her, though she squirms and whines, trying to get out of my reach. By the time I get her little shoes on her, she is crying loudly. I hold her against my chest and bounce her, trying to calm her.

I suddenly have an idea. "We should go visit mommy," I say to Raven. She must know what I am talking about, because she smiles and cries out happily.

I walk back out into the living area after throwing on a shirt, grabbing a few toys and putting them into Raven's huge baby bag for her to play with at the tattoo shop. I suddenly stop what I am doing and smile at the thought that I am bringing my child to a tattoo shop. In other factions, that would be considered bad parenting, but in Dauntless, it is completely fine.

"Ready to go?" I ask, heaving the bag onto my shoulder. I rub Raven's back as she wraps her arms around my neck, holding onto me tightly. We walk out of the door and down to the Pit, people staring at us the whole way. I don't go out much, especially not with Raven. And people are probably still obsessing about the fact that I am so young. I wish that they would stop judging Tris and I. We are no different than the rest of them.

I step into the tattoo parlour, Tris looking up at us and smiling as she sweeps the floor. "Hi, guys. What are you doing here?"

"We just thought that we could visit the best woman in the world."

"Are you talking about me?" Tori walks in from the back room, smirking.

"No, I was actually thinking Tris, but you're a close second," I say. Tris just shakes her head and walks up to me, giving me a quick kiss, then taking Raven and peppering her face with kisses.

"There's my baby. I missed you."

"You didn't miss me?" I ask, pretending to look sad.

"Yes, I missed you too. It's a slow day today, very boring. I can only lose in a card game against Tori so many times before it becomes a death match." Tris looks back at Tori, who smiles evilly.

"Well, while you are here, maybe I could fix your tattoo," Tris says.

"Oh, I guess so."

"Tori can watch Raven. Just put her in the play pin in the back." Tris had decided to put a play pin in here for Raven while we are both working. I have one for her in the control room also. I go into the back room with Tori following me, and place Raven in the pin, kissing her forehead. Tori sits in a chair in the corner, looking at me.

"I'll keep an eye on her," she tells me, smiling slightly. I nod and walk back out to Tris, who is setting up the tattoo needle.

"You better be as good as Tori," I say.

"Trust me, I am better."

"Oh really? Well I'm going to have to just wait and see," I say, smiling. I take my shirt off and sit on the chair backwards, leaning my forehead on the headrest. Tris turns on the needle, running her fingers over my back, trying to figure out where to start. I feel her lips press between my shoulder blades, right where the Dauntless symbol is on my skin. Then she places the needle in the same spot, and begins.

Over an hour later, my back is tingling and my tattoo is finshed. I look at it in a mirror, and I have to admit: it looks better than it did before. I am about to put on my shirt, but Tris comes up behind me, holding up Raven.

"Not so fast, we have to get baby's opinion," Tris says. Raven places her tiny hands on my tender skin, running her fingers over the new ink. It's strange how she loves our tattoos so much. I bet she will have many when she is older, and I'm fine with that, as long as she waits until she is sixteen.

Raven squeals in approval, squirming happily. I smile and pull on my shirt, scooping Raven into my arms. I place a kiss in her forehead, and wrap my arm around Tris, pulling her into me and kiss her forehead also.

"Thank you for the tattoo." Tris smiles and pulls me out of the tattoo shop and through the Pit, back to our apartment.

* * *

**Ooh, a different perspective! Spicing it up a little. And a sprinkle of mental anguish too?! How delicious. I was really starting to expand my horizons a bit, you know, add in some emotional depth here and there, maybe just a bit of retconning an entire chunk of internal conflict that had no presence in the story previously, just to make it interesting. Tobias was really going to wait until Tris was full term to finally tell her that he was too scared to commit to having a kid? But then, of course, when he sees the baby for the first time, he just becomes all mushy and falls in love with idea of being a father. How inspiring. Get this man a #1 Dad mug. **

**I'm in a Creative Writing Workshop class right now, and as I was reading over this, in my head I was making mental notes the of (nonexistent) strengths and (numerous) weaknesses like I have to do when reading my classmates' stories. Trust me, I'm way nicer to them than I am about my own work. But the idea of someone trying to say something good about this story is absolutely hilarious to me. **

**Strengths: ****Your command of the English language is slightly better than average. Your characters are unique in the sense that they are completely out of character. Your understanding of how babies work shows that you know how to Google 'childhood development stages.' Your dialogue has begun to sound more like an alien attempting to mimic human speech rather than robot on the wrong side of the uncanny valley. Good job. I really enjoyed this and am not judging you at all. **

**Jokes aside, I really hope you guys are all safe and healthy. Shit may be grim, but we will get through this. Things will eventually go back to normal, and we'll look back on this as just a bumpy patch on the road of our lives. That being said, stay home if you are able to, chill out and try to enjoy this odd little moment in history, use your toilet paper sparingly, and wash your fucking hands. **

**Review if you've run out of things in your house to clean. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Well, looks like this is the last chapter I wrote. And it's not even finished. Told you I'm terrible at completing things. **

**How having things been for you all? I just got through my first week of online classes, and it's been an adjustment, but it's not as weird as I was expecting. We're just taking things one day at a time, trying to enjoy the time we have together. **

**Anyways, I think humor is the best way to get through hard times, and even though this wasn't intended to be funny, I hope you can laugh at it. **

* * *

I sit on the floor with Raven as she plays with her toys that are spread out around her. She can sit up on her own now, and loves to crawl around and get into things constantly. She is around eight months old, and is starting to show differences in personalilty. Tobias says she acts just like me, with the same expressions and mannerisms. Christina is determined that Raven is going to turn out as a miniture version of me. I don't see it. One of Raven's favorite thing to do is play peek-a-boo with us. She always screeches in laughter when we do. But now, Tobias has gone back to work, leaving me to take care of Raven on my free day.

He is training initiates again. I wanted to help, but there was no way that I was bringing Raven anywhere near the training room. So I stayed home and watched Raven by myself. It's hard to think that I have already been in Dauntless for two years. It definantly doesn't seem like that long. I sometimes forget that I am just a teenager, and pictured that this was how I planned for my life to turn out: marrying Tobias, having a child, living happily ever after. But then I think about the years of freedom I had lost, now being a mother. If my life had turned out how I wanted it to, I would have been able to live out my teenage years here in Dauntless. I could have went to more parties, trained the new initiates. I don't regret keeping Raven. I love her more than anything, well, except for Tobias.

"You want your bear?" I ask in a childish tone, holding her pink stuffed bear in front of her. She immidiatley takes it, shoving its head in her mouth. Giggling, I pick her up, placing her in my lap. She has grown so much over these past few months. It's hard to think that she will be a year old in just four months. It makes me feel old, even though I am olny eighteen.

I don't go out much. All of my time is devoted to taking care of Raven. I want her to be raised right, unlike many children in Dauntless. Christina visits often, usually to play with Raven or talk. Though, I have been quite lonely in the hours while Tobias is gone.

Raven shakes her bear, smiling up at me widely. I notice something in her mouth, thinking that she picked up something off the ground. But when I looked in her mouth, I realized that it wasn't something she picked up. It was a small white tooth, peeking out from her gums.

I gasp, lifting Raven up to my face. She giggles at my large smile, placing her tiny hands on my cheeks. I can't wait for Tobias to come home on his lunch break so I can show him Raven's first tooth.

After a while, I go to put down Raven for her nap, but every time I leave her room, she starts screaming. I sigh and carry her into the kitchen on my hip. She gets very clingy sometimes, mostly when Tobias is gone. She won't let me even put her down sometimes.

I retreive a pan from a cabinet, knocking over many others in the process. It's extremely difficult to do thigs with one hand, while also trying to keep your child from getting hurt or grabbing something. Humming a lullaby I remember from my childhood, I prepare our food for lunch.

When I try to set Raven down in her high chair so I can clean up, she starts screaming again. I almost scream too, but then I get an idea. Grabbing a blanket from the living room, I hold Raven against my chest, wrapping the blanket around her and my torso a few times in a way so that she won't slip out. I secure it behind my back, tying a tight knot. Now I don't have to hold her, and she will stop crying. I praise myself, amazed at my ingeniousness.

"Problem solved." I tell her, kissing her forehead. I continue to pick up her toys that a scattered across the floor, then proceed to check on the food on the stove. I snap around when I hear the front door open.

"What are you doing?" Tobias asks, hanging his house keys by the door. He stares quizzically at Raven strapped to my chest.

"Oh, Raven was just being fussy, so I improvised." I reach back to untie the blanket, but it is hard since I can't see it. Tobias sees my stuggle and unties it for me.

"I have good news." His breath warms my skin, his lips brushing my neck.

"What?" I lift Raven up, throwing the blanket on the couch. She reaches out to Tobais, gabbling happily. He scoops her into his arms, spinning her in the air as she screeches in laughter. When he stops, she wraps her stubby arms around his neck, burying her face into his neck. The bond between them is adorable. He ruffles her frizzy hair, kissing her forehead. He is an amazing father.

"Christina said she could watch Raven so we can go out on a 'date', as she puts it." Walking into the kitchen, he sets Raven in her high chair, then gets plates out of the cabinent.

"Oh, really? That's nice of her," I say, setting the food on both of our plates. We sit down across from each other, with Raven squealing next to us.

"Yeah. I was thinking we could go out tonight after I finish with the initiates," he says.

"Okay, that sounds good." This conversation is so awkward. Usually we are so casual. But Tobias seems tense, like he is hiding something. But I don't question him about it.

"I have good news too." I tell him. He nods, indicating to go on. I reach over and lift up Raven's lip, showing her small tooth.

"Oh, you finally got your first tooth!" He grins, pinching her cheek. She giggles and twists away from him. I pick up a jar of her baby food and take a spoon full of it, putting it in her mouth.

"She's growing up so fast," I say as she spits up her food, making a discusted face. I laugh and wipe the food from her chin. "Why do you not like it?" I say in a high pitched tone. "It can't be that bad."

She just gurgles in response. I lift the spoon back up to her mouth, but she turns her head away. "Oh, come on. See? Mommy likes it." I put the spoon into my own mouth, trying to convince her that it is fine. But a horrible taste touches my tongue, making me instinctivly spit it out, all over the floor and myself. After a few moments silence, Tobias bursts out laughing, in turn making Raven laugh, even though she doesn't know what's going on. I huff and stand up, walking out of the room, slipping off the shirt of Tobias's that I was wearing, throwing it on the floor along with all the other dirty clothes of ours. Is it ever clean here anymore? I quickly slip on some other clothes, not even paying attention to what I choose.

When I come back into the kitchen, Tobias is feeding Raven with a different baby food, the food I spit out cleaned from the floor. I sit back down and finish my lunch without talking to Tobias. It's not like I don't want to, it's just that he won't talk. When we are done, we clean up, Tobias walking up to the door to leave for work again.

"Hey, do you think that Raven and I could go with you?" I ask, carrying Raven on my hip.

"Do you think that would be okay?"

"Yeah, I mean, we could sit in that observation room. It's sound proof, and you are just doing knife throwing, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I guess you could come. Maybe you could help me by demostrating. They aren't doing very well." he opens the door, holding it open while I grab Raven's baby bag, slinging it over my shoulder and hurrying out the door, excited to do something other than spending endless hours at home watching Raven.

"Baby gets to see her daddy at his job," I say, bouncing Raven. Tobias smiles down at me and Raven, taking my free hand in his.

"Are you going to introduce us to your initiates?"

"If you want me to."

"What? Do you think that Raven makes you look soft?" I say, smirking.

"No, I would be happy to let you meet my initiates." We enter the training room, the initiates all looking up at us curiously.

I look around at all the initiates, trying to take in all the new faces. Though, Tobias's face isn't serious as it usually is, when he takes on his Four persona. He keeps his hand in mine, smiling slightly.

"Hello again initiates. We are going to continue practicing with knives. I brought my girlfriend, Tris, to help you by demonstrating other techniques." He looks back down at me, raising his eyebrows. I nod and hand Raven and her bag over to him, walking over the the table full of throwing knives, gathering a few in my hands. I quickly demonstrate all the techniques that I know, hitting the center each time. When I turn around, all the initiates are staring at me in amazment.

"Wow, Four, you've got a badass girlfriend!" one boy says.

"Yeah, I know." Tobias smirks at me as I stride over to him. I'm glad the initiates are respectful of me instead of seeing me as a another scrawny girl. I take Raven back from Tobias, bouncing her on my hip.

"Is that your baby?" A red haired girl asks.

"Yes," I answer simply. The initiates, mainly the girls, suddenly gather around us asking many questions. Raven starts to whine, so I move away from the group slightly.

"Okay, no need to get excited. Her name is Raven, she is eight months old, and yes she is our child. Now, I am not answering any more questions right now." I walk back to the observation room and sit down at the desk, taking a blanket from the bag and laying it across it, then sitting Raven on it. She has started full out crying now, so I rub her back and whisper calming words in her ear.

Out in the training room, the initiates are lining up at the targets, knives in hand. Once they start throwing them, I can hear the feint _thunk_ as each knife hits the target. Though, a few hit the walls and floor around it, most of the people are doing well. The initiates copy my motions, some picking it up immediately, others not.

I hand Raven her favorite bear, and she hugs it tightly. She is still sniffling slightly. I gently wipe her face of the snot and tears, kissing her cheeks and forehead. "It's okay baby, it's just you and mommy. No scary teenagers." I pause suddenly, realizing what I had just said. I am completely contradicting myself, saying that when I am also a teenager. I wonder what Raven will think we she is older, knowing that her parents were teenagers when they had her. I just hope she doesn't make the same mistakes. I don't want to be Dauntless's youngest grandmother.

Every so often, Tobias looks over at us through the window, smiling widely. I tell Raven to wave each time. That is her new favorite thing to do, along with putting things in her mouth.

Raven's eyes follow the swirling knives as they make their way from hands to targets. She giggles and claps every time one hits the board. She is a Dauntless baby through and through.

When the day is over, Raven is already asleep in my arms. Tobias announces that the initiates can go back to their dormitory, and I emerge from the room, laying Raven over my shoulder.

* * *

**And then it just ends there. At least it didn't end with her fucking going to sleep. I can't remember much of what I had planned for this story, but I'm pretty sure with the whole date thing and Tobias's odd behavior, he was going to propose to Tris. I'm glad I gave up at this point, because I didn't want have to read any of that hetero nonsense. I know I was going to skip ahead a few years and have them find out they were having twins. I know, how original. And they were probably going to have even worse names. **

**I don't know why I was so determined to show them raising their little crotch-goblin, because this shit is boring as fuck. Every chapter is just like "my baby is slight older than last time, she's so cute, but i often find myself wondering how much better my life would be if I hadn't become a mother at the age of seventeen and ruined my chances of ever having a normal life. But I love my kid, she's so great. Did you know that she can crawl now?" **

**Anyways, this is not the end of this story, hopefully. I was thinking, what if I continued writing this? What if I tried to replicate the awfulness of this story, but actually make it ironic this time? Do any of you think that would be interesting? It'd be cool if you all could maybe give me some ideas of really irritating Divergent fic cliches to include, because I'm not as well versed as I used to be. Sound fun? I don't have much else to do in quarantine, and me writing Divergent fanfiction again wouldn't be the craziest thing that's happened this year. **

**So, review with your thoughts, and tell me if you cringed as hard as I did at the line "Wow**, **Four, you've got a badass girlfriend!" **


	11. Chapter 11

**Well, here you go guys. The first chapter of the new era of this story. I had no idea where this was going to go, or what kind of tone I wanted it to have, or anything really, I just started writing and this is what happened. It's a bit short because I felt like I needed to tie up whatever that bullshit with the date was that I set up in the last chapter, but hope I can make you laugh a bit.**

* * *

I blink awake, the sun burning my eyes. I groan and try to turn away, but with a fumbling clatter I find myself on a hard concrete floor. Pushing myself up onto my knees, I rub the blurriness from my eyes and look around. I'm in a restaurant, The Chasm: the Restaurant, the only one in Dauntless. I hear someone clearing their throat behind me and I turn around to find Tobias sitting on the other end of the table we're at with an annoyed look on his face.

Oh, the date! We're on a date. I must have fallen asleep while eating. Oh well, must be hormones or something. I let out an awkward laugh and shuffle back into my seat.

I give him a wide smile, hoping to break the tension. He just breaths out through his nose and drops his fork onto his plate.

"As you know, it's our second anniversary-"

Shit, it is? Fuck, I don't even know what month we're in.

"And I know I've asked you this already and you said you weren't ready, but I really feel strongly about this, Tris, you know I do. I know we're young and unprepared and still figuring things out. But is that ever going to change? Are we ever going to know what we're doing? We're Dauntless, we're supposed to throw caution to the wind, so why drag our feet on this?" He got out of his seat, pulling a box out of his pocket and getting down on one knee beside me.

"Tris, I've loved you from the moment I saw you fall into that net on the day of your Choosing Ceremony. I could see something grand in you, something stunning. Even in the drab greys of Abnegation you shone. . ."

My head dips a bit too far to the side and I startle awake, blinking the heaviness of sleep from my eyes. Goddammit, these damn hormones.

"Sorry, what was that?" I mumble, pulling the hair back from my face.

Tobias looks up at me with what I might describe as the expression a dog makes when it realizes the treat you had in your hand was actually pretend the entire time. A ring box is perched in his hands, inside a black crystal ring carved to look like a skull with red rhinestones for eyes. How cute!

"Will you marry me?" He says flatly.

"Oh yeah, sure," I shrug, plucking the box from his hands and pulling out the ring, slipping it on and wiggling my fingers to watch it glitter in the dim lights of the restaurant. "Ooh, I can't wait to show Christina!"

"Uh, I got our numbers engraved on the inside, and a raven, for, uh, Raven, you know."

"Oh, how sweet!" I grin, leaning down and giving him a kiss on the cheek. He doesn't react. He just gets back into his chair and we finish our meal in a bit of a stunned silence. Stunned about how crazy this is, I'm sure. We're engaged! I can't believe it either. I mean, if he'd asked me any other day, I would have probably said no, because I still think it's moving too fast. But with the anniversary date, and that ring! It was so romantic I just couldn't say no. And maybe he's right, what are we waiting for? We already have a baby, so there's no more 'waiting until marriage,' so we might as well just tie the knot already. God, I can already see my wedding dress, black lace with a leather corset, a black rose bouquet, and Raven can be the flower girl once she starts walking. Of course, Christina will be the maid of honor-

"You ready to go?" Tobias huffs, standing from his chair. I nod and follow him, and we walk hand in hand all the way back to our apartment in a content silence.

After we get home, Tobias goes to use the bathroom and I lay down on the bed, taking in the wondrous peace and quiet of a house empty of a constantly whining baby. I have to admit, I do miss Raven a bit, but not as much as I enjoy an evening without her for a change.

After what seems like almost half an hour, Tobias finally emerges from the bathroom, and I watch from the corner of my eye as he comes up to the foot of the bed, shirtless, his muscles tense.

"Uh, since Raven's with Christina for the night, do you want to-"

I turn over to face him, yawning. "Nah, I'm actually kind of tired. Now's a great time to finally catch up on some sleep.

He goes silent, flipping off the lamp and dropping into the bed without a word. He's facing away from me, which is a bit unusual, but I just curl my arm around his waist and bury my face into the hard lines of his back.

My skin is still tingling with excitement. I can't believe he proposed. I never saw it coming. I'm getting married. I'm getting married. I'm getting married. It doesn't even feel real.

"Goodnight, honey," I hum contently against his skin. He doesn't answer, probably because he's already asleep. God, he must have been even more tired than I am.

I slowly drift off next to the man I have a beautiful child with and am destined to marry someday. I really am living the dream.

* * *

**So. . .there you go. I didn't realize how weird this would be. Continuing a story I wrote almost five years ago but completely changing it so that now it's a parody of itself and is purposefully dumb as shit when I originally took it so seriously that I actually did intensive research for it. But I had a fun time writing it, so I hope you all had a fun time reading it. God knows we all need some distraction. I'm actually really excited to continue this, since I don't really get to wrote stuff like this very often. You all probably know that I'm one for writing super depressing melodramatic bullshit, so I'm kind of out of my depth here, but it's fun to challenge myself. **

**But I'd love it if you all would chime in with your own ideas for horribly cliché plot lines, if you have any. Come on, we're all in this together. **

**Review if you think my writing has improved any over the past five years _**


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